My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
