There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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