So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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