More tranny stories later!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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