i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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