We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
