You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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