remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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