1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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