Define "chronic" masturbator.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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