So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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