so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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