Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
