dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
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If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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