So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
a search helicopter?!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
