i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
