think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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