The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
