Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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