i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
either way he was missing a nipple.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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