its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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