you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
