Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
