Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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