Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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