um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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