I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
