Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
