Need sex. Gaining weight.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
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One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus