dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box