i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just google imaged poop.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
