i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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