ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
3 2 1 whiskey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
