Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
