Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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