i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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