while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
