I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
