Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
