Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The ass gains better be worth it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
