The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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