I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she looked like the before picture.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
