I looked at my own cervix.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
