I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
