I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
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I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody