Just cropdusted the office
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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