I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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