i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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