If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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