bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
