who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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