On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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