How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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