i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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