**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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