I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
