what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't deserve a penis
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
