i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
