Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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