she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
