return my video game
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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