They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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