I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
